Later. When I'm old and not necessarily wiser I'll look aback at this period and will think about all the opportunities, possibilities I had when I was in New York. Now I'm trying to use all these opportunities and possibilities and I have to make choises and am confronted with the fact that the day only has 24 hours.
Then like know I will realize that it's easier to move one's physical entity several thousands of miles then to break out of one's emotional and intellectual self. Ebem when you open yourself up for it oneself is definitely a result of one's life. So there's that yearning to be someone else, someone better and to be truthful that has happened several times in my life. I was a different person when I came back from the the US when I was 16. Working in an international advertising company (A&L) changed me. So it's not uncommon to expect that that will happen every couple of years.
But now I recognize that coming to New York was like writing my thesis during my last year in University. At that moment it was my goal to condense everything I had learned in those first 7 years of University (that is indeed a lot of years) and then write a perfect end thesis which would show to the rest of the world my command of the field of International Economic Relations. That didn't happen. It turned out that I'm a good researcher and analyser but my synthesis skills were lacking. In retrospect that got me in Graphic Design and Advertising so I'm not complaining.
But coming to New York last year there was also the idea that starting from my learnings in advertising and online projects and combined with the possibilities of New York I could reach some sort of zenith. Now the jury is still out and New York is a special place and I still have a lot to learn but I haven't reached that command yet. And yes the question is if I will.
Looking back my University years were one of the best years of my life so maybe the journey is more interesting then the end result. I've already made that choice for my cycling. It's not about that one ig race you prepare yourself for for several months. It's about enjoying 30 kms in the park in one of the first warm days of the year. There you are at the bottom of the hill and there's one rider who kinda waits for you until you are side by side. Then he jumps and opens a gap. You keep your tempo and don't let the gap get to big. Halfway the hill you gear up and try to jump back. The key is to pass him with enough speed so he can't get in your wheel. At the top of the hill you turn back and look back. He ain't there. You have a heart beat of 205 and breathing heavily but that's ok. On the next hill he passes you but that's fine. He challenged you and underestimated you and you beat him. One more lap and then you go home.